He said these words to her as though she should be proud of them. As though they should give her comfort in his affairs, and treatment of her in their marriage. As some sort of championship feat, unmatched by his extramarital affair lovers. She was silent and tears rolled down her face. This was the final straw. She knew it was over. It was more than past time to walk away. She felt something she hadn’t felt before since she first found out about her husbands affairs. Utter humiliation, entangled with anger. Not toward Jason, but herself for allowing the situation to escalate to this level of disrespect. He opened his eyes and looked at her because he could feel her tears hit his chest. She stood and went into the bathroom to clean herself up. But instead, fell to her knees in front of the shower and burst into tears. She couldn’t control her emotions. She usually held her tears until she was alone. Which wasn’t often, as her son Jared spent almost every waking moment with her because she didn’t trust what he would say if she weren’t there to buffer his conversation with others. And, from the first few weeks following her finding out about the affairs after Jared mentioned that he hears her crying often, even when alone she’d stopped showing emotion. But like a time bomb they exploded, and she cried out in a crumpled heap on the bathroom floor. He closed his eyes, sighed and whispered to himself, “Ugh, Jason, what’s wrong with you. That was insensitive, even for you. That was too much. Go get her. Hold her in your arms and comfort her. You have to fix this, Jason. That was too over the top.” He got out of bed, went into the bathroom, he knelt beside her, and pulled her into his arms, “Trina. Come here, baby. Come here. I got you…I got you, baby.” He kissed the top of her head, “Shhhhh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby. That was cruel. I’m sorry, Trina. I’m sorry…okay, baby.” She wept, but allowed him to hold her. As crazy as it may seem. She really needed to cry in his arms and was angry with herself that she wanted to be there. Because that fact, to her at least, showed just how much control he had over her. She desperately tried to no avail to control her tears. Her body shook as she began to rock back and forth and cried out almost to the point of screaming. All the hurt she’d felt over the last six or seven months came exploding out of her. She had never fully allowed herself to weep. Between being with Jared most of the day and Jason at night, she’d learned to suppress her emotions about the affairs. Her pain filled the room, and the air became thick and stifling. Jason now understood the magnitude of how much pain and suffering he’d caused his wife to endure. For the first time he felt remorse, and her tears tormented him. “Come on, Trina. I need you to stop crying, okay.” She continued to weep. There was no stopping her. “Okay, come on baby, please stop. I said I was sorry, okay. Come on Trina stop crying baby. Ugh…baby, I promise I won’t talk like that when we’re in bed together anymore. I won’t talk about them when I’m with you, okay. Come on, baby…stop crying.” She could feel his body stiffen, but she couldn’t stop crying. Every fiber of her being hurt and every level of pain inside of her. She was overwhelmed by what she had endured in her marriage. She felt like she had a ten-pound hair ball in her stomach, and began to cramp. She was battling to keep her sanity, and her emotions were being extracted from her body. The almost unbearable pain in her stomach ached as though she were being pushed through a meat grinder, with the butcher just out of her reach with no way to stop him from turning the crank handle. She had never felt so much pain. She could feel the blood being forced through her veins and arteries at a rushing speed and she feared she would lose consciousness at any moment. How can emotional hurt bring this type of force, she wondered?
Trina and Jason Morris
~The Opportunity for Temptation~
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